10 Signs That You Are a Cheapskate

Saving money and living a frugal, sustainable lifestyle are very worthy goals. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being thrifty, but if you’re crossing the line into cheapskate territory, it’s time to take a look at your relationship with money.

Here are 10 signs that you’re not fashionably frugal or terrifically thrifty but a cheapskate:

1. You make it your mission to find an excuse not to pay full price or tip. Nobody is saying that you should accept substandard goods or poor service, but if you go into every situation looking for a way out of paying or tipping, you’re cheating yourself out of enjoying life – not to mention the people you are cheating out of income.

2. You won’t pay for necessary maintenance on your house or vehicles. This will almost certainly wind up costing you more in the long run. Worse, you could be putting yourself or your family at risk by not making sure that everything is in good running order.

3. You try to bully people to save a buck. You might get your way by causing a scene at customer service or threatening a manager, but is saving a few dollars worth causing everyone, including yourself, so much stress? This is not to say you shouldn’t be firm and persistent in getting something that you are really entitled to, however money is never more important than treating your fellow human beings with dignity and respect.

For those that cause scenes for things you really have no right to do, like being able to return obviously worn goods that you didn’t even buy at the store, you are hurting everyone else as stores put more restrictive policies in place to avoid being fleeced by the likes of you. Thanks a lot.

4. You spend every waking minute worrying about money, even though you have a healthy savings and little to no debt. Sure, we all worry about money sometimes and it’s good to be proactive about savings, but if little things like buying a soft drink cause you to have real mental anguish and worry about becoming homeless, you might need some sort of cognitive therapy.

Keep in mind, I’m not talking about a little “Should I or shouldn’t I” internal dialogue before making a small purchase, that’s fine. Most of us should probably put more thought into our small purchases! However, there are people who experience real anxiety symptoms over spending trivial amounts even when they are financially secure and this could be a sign of a real problem and professional advice should be sought.

5. You constantly take advantage of other people and never reciprocate. Life is all about give and take, but if you’re always taking and never giving, you aren’t being fair to those around you.  Even if you can’t reciprocate at the same level, you should still make some effort to make sure that you’re showing your appreciation and not using the more generous party.

Giving is one of the greatest joys in life and you are robbing yourself of that if you only allow yourself to take.

6. You won’t spend money on yourself, even if you can afford it. Sacrificing now to have a better future is very worthy, however if you can’t bring yourself to indulge even a bit to give yourself some joy now, what’s the point?

A bit of money, spent wisely on the things that will bring you happiness now, is just as much an investment as cash in the bank.

7. You withhold money to give you power over your partner or other family members. Using money to control the ones you love is a recipe for disaster. There might be times when it’s prudent for one spouse to be in charge of the finances and put the other on an allowance, but it can also cross the line over to spousal abuse. Using money to solve non-financial problems never ends well.

8. You make others feel bad or self-conscious about their spending decisions. Obviously, every person is responsible for their own feelings, but there is such a thing as a tactless jerk. Criticizing people for spending too much, going on and on about how you couldn’t afford such a thing and saying that a purchase was foolish or wasteful is just as obnoxious as being a flashy show off.

Be confident enough in your choices that you don’t have to tear others down to feel good about them. There  is nothing wrong with being honest and saying something is out of your budget or you’d rather not spend the money but do so in a way that leaves everyone feeling good, not attacked or guilty.

9. You are giving your children anxiety about money. It’s crucial to teach kids about budgeting, setting priorities and being smart consumers. It’s cruel to make children think that you are on the verge of starvation and don’t know where your next dollar is coming from, if the truth is you’re just trying to save some money.

Your children will grow up with much healthier attitudes about money if you show them how you are setting priorities as a way to teach them to save rather than scaring them by telling them you are poor or broke, when you really aren’t.

10. You only see value in your own money. If you have no compunctions about wasting other people’s resources, trying to cheat them or don’t hesitate to take advantage of other people’s mistakes, you are a cheapskate.

Yes, you do have to look out for number one, but most of us understand that part of being human is looking out for other people. You might only be hurting a heartless corporation, but being greedy and grasping can ultimately rob you of feeling good about yourself. Take a close look at your ethics and be sure that you aren’t sacrificing your values in the pursuit of free or cheap.

The key is to have a balance in all things, including money. When your attitudes about spending and accumulating money affect how you relate to other people and/or you find yourself making stupid decisions because of anxiety about money, it’s time to take a hard look at what’s going on in your life.

The goal is to use your money wisely so that you can enjoy your life, not have money or things be the goal.

Tracy O’Connor is the mother of 5 boys and a ghostwriter who also writes a personal humor blog.

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photo credit: ©istock/diane39