Is your attitude towards money keeping you poor?

Do you sabotage yourself when it comes to your financial well being? If you are one of the many people who have conflicting attitudes towards money the answer is probably yes.

It’s easy to see why it’s difficult to form positive attitudes about money in our culture. We are bombarded by mixed messages that it’s not good to care about money, that we shouldn’t place too much importance on it while at the same time using financial status as a way of keeping score and shaming those who are not  financially stable.

Do you have any of these self-defeating attitudes towards money?

A belief that it’s not nice to think about money

It’s true that money isn’t the most important thing in the world, but it is one of our most important tools. Spending time thinking about how to earn money and to use this tool to your best advantage doesn’t mean that you are materialistic or shallow or greedy. There does need to be a balance however if you treat money like it doesn’t matter  you’ll soon see how wrong you are.

This doesn’t mean that you have to pursue wealth or that there is anything wrong with living a simple, frugal life. However, if you feel like there is something shameful about dealing with money at all, it’s likely that it’s sabotaging your finances and hindering your ability to meet your goals.

A belief that you should just know how to use money wisely

While the basics of financial management are simple, i.e. spend less than you earn and save for the future, it is not always easy to figure out how to make a plan to reach that goal. Nobody emerges from the womb understanding how to read a contract or understanding amortization tables.

Everyone makes mistakes and poor decisions when it comes to their money. The difference is that some people have wider and stronger safety net. When you feel that you should just know how to manage your money, it can prevent you from asking questions and seeking help that could help you make wiser decisions.

A belief that financial problems are a sign of bad character or stupidity

As I said above, everybody has made mistakes with their money at some point. Not everybody has the same resources, education and circumstances and what could be a minor setback for one is a devastating blow for another.

While it’s important to take responsibility for getting your finances in order and to take initiative to reach your goals, it’s also important to understand what your mitigating factors are and to treat yourself with kindness. You might have made poor decisions in the past but now you have the opportunity to learn from them.

It isn’t productive to feel ashamed or stupid because you are having a hard time meeting your financial goals.

A belief that the money will just take care of itself

This is magical thinking and I’m afraid it doesn’t work out very well in practice. While you might win the lottery or marry a millionaire or inherit a fortune from a previously unknown wealthy relative, you can’t count on it so it’s up to you to make good decisions and take the actions that will lead you to where you want to be financially.

You can save yourself a lot of stress and anxiety by being realistic about where you are and how to get to where you want to be. It can be scary to take the plunge and find out exactly what your financial status is but it’s almost certain that once you do you’ll feel relief, no matter how bad it is. There is nothing more stressful than not really knowing what you are facing.

Once you know, it will be possible for you to make a plan to improve your situation. To reach your financial goals you need to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking about money, that nobody is born knowing the principals of finance so it’s okay to ask questions and get help and that financial problems don’t mean that there is anything wrong with your character or intelligence.

Tracy O’Connor is the mother of 5 boys and a ghostwriter who also writes a personal humor blog.

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